Saturday

I went out last night, which is a rarity these days. It was rainy, but the first bits of fall are finally starting to penetrate and break up that awful stench of summer that permeates this city. There was drinking, there was dancing, there were boys falling on the floor, and there was some relieving of bowels in alleyways and behind dumpsters on the long journey home. Fortunately, I had a very dear gentleman to escort me and keep watch. That makes it all sound a lot more classy than it actually was.

I slept till noon today, such a rare luxury. Not only because I rarely get a weekend day off, but also because I have trouble sleeping past 8 am even when I do. So even though I have about 10 UFOs lying around, and some errands to run, I am content to sit here, eat chocolates from Germany, let the "genius" in iTunes 8.0 pick my music, and knit something small and satisfying.

As far as I'm concerned, this is as luxurious as it gets.

Keeping it All Together

It's raining out today. Kind of cold. Windy. I haven't gotten out of bed except for the two minutes that I went wandering around for the menu for the restaurant that we live above. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't have their number. So, after a few minutes of fruitless searching I returned to bed, opened my window and lit a cigarette. It was then I saw the sign, the sign for the restaurant right below my window, with the phone number emblazoned across it.

The truth is, things haven't been to easy lately. It's been a rough few weeks, a rough few months, maybe even a rough couple years. It all blurs together into something that I understand, but can't quite make out. The closer I get to summer, the more the memories of North Carolina, of my uncle, of the my aunt as she struggled to hold herself up and smile as she watched him slip away. How she protected everyone, even me, from the really bad things that were happening. I realize that everyone experiences loss in their lives, almost never by choice. I've had a lot of that lately, and I sit here and try to learn from it, but it's a half step forward and then three steps back. There is always a rug being pulled out from underneath me. I need to find a spot that's just hardwood flooring, and stay there.

Money Shot

There comes a time in day, usually around 19:00 these days that the sun takes a break from bearing down into our eastern facing apartment and heads over to the other side of Broad St. leaving us with a kitchen full of soft grey light that makes even the jar of mayonnaise look kind of dreamy and artistic.

I shot this photo last night as I was getting ready to make a large pot of seafood risotto and watch the Phils bullpen give up run after run to Mets. Oh, the humanity! The season is young though, and after years of disappointment, I have to say that I can really rely on the Phils to lift up my hopes and then crush them on a day to day basis. That's what summer around here is all about.

The scarf is Shifting Sands by Grumperina. I first saw the pattern in progress at Brooklyn Tweed several months ago. He was working it in Malabrigo and I just loved how all the little cables really brought out the imperfect nature of the yarn, its thick and thin pieces, the variations in color...gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Fortunately, the thing is taking forever, and I'm really just enjoying it without rushing to get it done. After all, it's 70 degrees out today.

Moving Right Along

Change is in the air, and no, I'm not talking about the 60 degree weather we're having in February. Frankly, I kind of hate 60 degree weather in February. Where is my blizzard? Where is the reality stopping torrent of snow that is so fun to look at, but so aggravating to deal with?

I don't know.

I do know that I've been quite the slacker with the updates, and the worst part about it, is that that I have nothing to show for it. I have moved to another location in South Philly. We have a roof deck w/ fantastic views of the sports complex and New Jersey. It's so....not very romantic, but nice nonetheless. Roof decks are hot commodities in this town, so even though the apartment itself has peeling wallpaper, a really old stove, and visible water damage, it is saved by this roof deck. Thank goodness for that!

I turned 25 about a week ago. For my birthday, Mom was kind enough to trek over to Loop on a particularly blustery day and purchase a swift and a wool winder much to my delight. It is honestly one of the best gifts I have ever received, So, while the rest of my life is still sitting in boxes, at least my precious yarn is neat, organized, and ready to be turned into many spectacular things.

I'm not one for new year's resolutions, but after all this organizing and taking stock of my stash, I am definitely not buying any more yarn in the near future. I am on a stashbusting mission. In fact, I'm not even sure how I ended up with all this yarn to begin with. As always, thinking with my eyes and my hands and not my poor wallet.

Growing up is proving to be a royal pain in the ass some days. The end of grad school is fast approaching. Only 6 more weeks and I'll have no choice but to leave this unreal world that I've lived in for the past quarter century and trade it in for some alternate reality known as the real world.

I'm not so sure about this whole real world thing. I mean, I'm sure it will be nice, but I think it also comes with its own set of ideas and pressures and conformities. Essentially, the very things I hate. But, hey, at least with all this yarn, I'll be stylishly dressed for the adventure.

Catching Up

Besides knitting, there's a lot of things that I've let fall by the wayside. For instance, today was the first time I'd been to mass this month. It had been so long since I'd been to mass that I didn't even know what time it started and showed up 15 minutes early.

You gotta to love St. Monica's. Rebuilt in the 1970s after a massive fire gutted the original church, it is the epitome of South Philly Catholic churches. Murals, gold trim on everything, packed to the gills with young and old from the neighborhood. Heck, around here, people still decorate their houses for first Communions and Confirmations. I'm sure going to miss going there when I move in January and switch over to Epiphany of Our Lord at 11th and Jackson, which is really only 6 blocks away, but doesn't have a 12:15 mass.

I've been catching up with some other things as well. I keep finding spare moments to work on the Flame Scarf. I savor these moments. It's so nice to have my hands and eyes and brain occupied with something that is not electronic. That is not a keyboard or a cash register. Yes, I agree that I sound like a wistful pansy. I suppose that I am a bit, but the reality is I'm just trying to keep it all together right now, and if 5 minutes and 2 rows of knitting helps, then I hope I can keep finding 5 minute pockets to knit in.

It's a lumpy, bumpy mess right now. I look forward to that fateful day when I can give it a nice wash and block. In the meantime, I totally cheated and went shopping today to buy Mom some socks for Christmas, just in case that fateful day never comes. (Yeah I know, I should knit her some).

Embarrasment

I made this hat for Jay in August. I bequeathed it to him shortly after his birthday in September. It now has a large hole in the crown. I have to say, I'm horribly embarrased that something I knit for someone else is now coming apart. Yes, yes, I realize that this is just a matter of busting out the faithful crochet hook and tapestry needle combo, but really, I should be more careful! At least he had the courtesy to inform me of my error and bring the hat in for emergency surgery before he was just sitting around with a pile of soft but useless wool string. Right now the thing just looks like it's going to start talking to me

The other thing that is embarrasing is the complete lack of knitting that's been taking place recently. We're decorating for the holidays at work. School is over in 2 1/2 weeks. Which will give me, oh....3 maybe 4 weeks to churn out a couple scarves, some hats, and a sweater. My hands feel so idle without wool in my fingers.

Fortunately, the lovely Ms. Abinka is having a stitch and bitch at her place on Sunday. I've got 4 balls of BSA Cotton ready for another Eyelet Cardi. Maybe I'll sew the buttons on the one I made myself before then.

The truth is, life has been pretty difficult lately. Losing my uncle last month was devasting. I knew it was inevitable, but for it to happen within 3 weeks after I moved home...I was just floored. I think everyone was. He was more than just an uncle. To my brother and I, as well as the rest of our family, he was really like a father. Always there, always with big hugs, sound advice, quirky jokes, and fun gadgets to play with. I miss him, but take comfort in knowing that he is no longer sick and is still looking out for all of us. It's been a difficult fall for everyone, but I think if I can get this hat fixed, I can start to get something back on track.

Warm

I can hardly believe that September is almost over. That may, in part, be due to the fact that I spent my day sitting on the beach, watching surfers, and getting a really odd sunburn on my arms and parts of my legs. I never quite put that sunblock on properly. None the less, after being away from home for nearly 3 months, tomorrow I'm flying first class back to Philadelphia, picking up my new car, and finally sleeping in my own bed. It seems like ages. By Monday I'll be back to the usual grind of working, grad school, homework, and hopefully some hanging out.

Of course, there will always be knitting. I hae to say, I've been rather selfish lately, knitting almost entirely for myself. But I'll be honest. I spend so much time knitting for other people, I think I've earned all my little pet projects. Let's take this gorgeous Malabrigo for example. I fell in love with the stuff last autumn when I needed to make a gift for my BFF. Since, I've knit many wonderful scarves of Malabrigo for many wonderful people until it suddenly occurred to me, I've never made ANYTHING for myself.

I scored 5 skeins at Great Yarns on sale while I was in Raleigh. They sat in the bag for a while until I decided that it's finally time I treated myself to a little Malabrigo. I love the texture. So soft running through the hands, so wooly and warm, and just a pleasure to knit with. I look forward to sharing this project with you in the coming weeks.

Naturally, I am working on all those holiday gifts. Yeah, I'm not as selfish as I'd like to be sometimes. I'm trying to keep it simple this year. Nothing crazy. Nothing that will keep me up late on Christmas Eve...famous last words.